I know of a woman whose husband seldom tells her he is proud of her or even that he notices what she does, yet she knows he does notice and appreciates her.
How?
She hears him telling others about the things she does and has accomplished. He praises her and blesses her in the "city gates," so to speak.
Would you like to have your husband praising and blessing you? I sure enjoy it when mine does. It really makes the day-to-day work easier to do.
But how do we get them to do this? Going around with our bottom lip hanging out mumbling, "I wish someone would praise me" probably wouldn't work very well. Neither would hitting them over the head with a rolling pin and yelling, "Notice what I did today!" Though we may feel like doing this occasionally.
How do we get them to do what the Bible says they will do? Ahhh. There is the key. How do WE get THEM to do what the Bible says they will do? You know what? It isn't our business, any more than making them "love their wives as their own bodies" or "as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it" is our business.
I know, I know. "But God commanded him to love me and praise me!" This is true. But it is not your job to make your husband obey God in these areas any more than it is your job to make him not commit murder, steal, lie, or to honor his parents. In fact, you can't make him obey God. No human being can make another human being obey God; no matter how close they are, even if they are as close as a husband and wife. You cannot control another human being even if it is for his or her own good.
You can only make YOU obey God.
What has God told you to do?
The Bible says for a wife to submit to her husband.
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Ephesians 5:22-24
Why, do you suppose? I think it is because our husbands often feel threatened when we "stand up to them." These verses are God's way of providing our husbands what they need emotionally; honor, respect, being treated like a man.
I am not saying we shouldn't have and express our opinions. We wouldn't be much good as help-meets sitting around like bumps on a log.
But I know when I present my ideas as just that, My ideas, careful to retain a submissive spirit; my Sweetheart seems to find it easier to really listen to what I am saying even if I use the same words. When he isn't put on the defensive by my tone of voice or body language, he can concentrate on what I am saying and really hear me.
I think maybe we women say a good deal more with our body language and tone of voice then we realize. And I think our men (and children) pick that up without even knowing it. We need to learn to be as careful about what we say on the outside as with our vocal chords.
God makes many promises in the Bible with regard to our behavior and choices in life. One such promise is that if we believe (an action verb) on the Lord Jesus Christ, we shall be saved. Do we make God save us? No. He can save us or not as He wishes. But The One Who Cannot Lie promises that if we will believe on Him, He WILL save us. Simple cause and effect begun by our choice to believe in Him.
This is much the same as throwing a ball up and expecting it to fall down. We do not cause the ball to fall down. Gravity does that. But we initiate it by tossing the ball in the air.
It is the same with God and His promises. We do not make Him save us, but we initiate the process by our decision to believe.
How does this apply to husbands? They are humans with just as much free will as we have. They don't have to obey God. But I do believe that if we will determine to obey God's commands to us, two things will happen:
(1) It naturally makes it easier for our husbands to do what God tells them to. In fact, gives them more of a desire to do so; and
(2) I believe God will divinely guide our husbands in the best way possible to encourage them to choose to obey their parts of the Scriptures.
He won't force them, but He will compel them.
You see, then, it is our jobs only to obey God (this includes praying for our husbands). He will care for the rest.
Now, I know there are some who read this that do not have husbands, whether divorced, widowed, or just not yet married. What does this verse have to do with you?
The Bible says that God is a husband to the widow. I believe He "husbands" any woman that is single and asks Him to. If you submit yourself to Him as a wife to her husband, seeking His will in your life and being His "help meet," I believe He will bless and praise you, just as Sarah's husband does. He will make sure you are taken care of emotionally as well as physically.
If He calls you to marry someday, He will provide a man worthy of your submission, if you have obeyed Him.
If you are not called to marry, He will provide for all of your needs anyway, even those such as protection, companionship and guidance that are commonly provided for through a husband.
God loves us and really does know what is best for us. If we will follow His guiding He will make sure we are cared for. He will also make sure our husbands are cared for. We really don't have to take that responsibility for ourselves. We really can trust Him.
And, Oh, someday, God will say this to us!
"Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all."
Oh to see His smile and nod of approval! I can't wait!
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