Friday, May 31, 2013

What to expect when you come home?

First you will probably have a honeymoon time.

If you just had a baby, you will love being with him and playing mommy. You won’t physically be up to much else. That is fine. Don’t push it. Midwives’ advise to women who have just given birth is “Two weeks IN bed, two weeks ON the bed (sitting up doing little things beside baby care), and two weeks AROUND the bed (up and puttering around the house with frequent breaks and naps).” Follow this and enjoy this time with baby. It will never happen with this child again and is an invaluable time to build bonds.

If you have not just had a baby, you will probably spend time doing all those things that have been nagging you the loudest; whether it is cleaning out a closet that is fixing to explode or painting a picture that has been hanging in the back of your head.

But the day will come when you are recovered and those “honeymoon” projects are done. Now you will probably slip into depression. You won’t have a clue what to do with yourself or where to start with the house. This is normal and to be expected. Your world just changed. You miss your friends. You miss you work and the feeling of accomplishment (and the paycheck!). You miss the familiar.

I am telling you this so you will know what is happening to you and so you can shorten this time period.

When you are ready to get over this stage and move on into actual Home Making, you will need to make a plan of action. After all, now YOU are the boss. Here are some suggestions to get you started;

[Try to do the first thing the first day, two things the second, etc. Just gradually add things (in the order I have them listed) until you are doing everything on the list or are comfortable with how your home looks and you feel accomplished.

A note about circles: I begin anything like gathering the trash or cleaning at the beginning of my “house circle.” I imagine going to every room in the house as quick as possible with as few backtracks as possible.

So in my first home I started in the Master bedroom, which opened on to the living room, so it was next. Then the spare bedroom, bathroom and kitchen.

My current home I begin in the master bath, than bedroom, which, again, opens onto the living room so its next. Then the girl’s room, boy’s room, family bath and hall. That leads to the dining room, then kitchen, laundry room and storeroom. Some days I begin the circle in the storeroom, than laundry, then skip to the master bath and finish the circle so I end in the kitchen. Each home is different and needs a unique circle. Try to put the kitchen as close to the end as possible.

The advantage of The Circle is that once you have it planned out, you no longer have to decide where to start or what to do next. That decision is already made.]

1)   Set your alarm and get up at a regular time every day. Put the clock across the room from your bed so you HAVE to get up to turn it off. Make sure it has an annoying ring. No radio alarms with soft music here!

2)   Make your bed. It makes your room look cleaner, is a chance to be artistic, and keeps your sheets from getting dust and dirt on them.

3)   Read one chapter in your Bible and pray- 15 minutes tops (Many people spend an hour in the Word and prayer the first day of devotions and then feel like it always takes that long. They end up feeling like they don’t have the time and give up entirely on their devotions.)

4)   Put some upbeat worship music on.

5)   Shower and dress (now, if you have a baby or children, you will have to do something with them. A baby can be put into a car seat and sat on the bathroom floor. For older children, get up before they do. Work on teaching them to stay on their bed for the duration of your shower.)

6)   Quick-clean the bathroom. Set a timer for five minutes and do whatever you can to make the room cleaner before the bell rings.

7)   Quick-clean your bedroom. Same thing with the timer. These are not times for deep cleaning, organizing, or de-cluttering. That comes later. Now it is just time to maintain livability and add an artistic touch.

8)   Fix and eat breakfast. Yes, you have to. Everyday. People who eat breakfast have an easier time loosing weight (they eat less during the rest of the day), think clearer and have more energy. Your body needs fuel just like your car does and supper-to-lunch is way too long to go without it.

9)   Wash all the dishes in and around the sink. Dry them and put them away. This is essential.

10)       Wipe down all the appliances and counter.

11)       Take something out for supper.

12)       Rotate the laundry. Fold and put up everything you take out of the dryer.

13)       Get a big trash bag and go to each room gathering up all the trash. When the bag is full, tie it and take it out.

No, this is not “the man’s job.” It might have made sense when trash was animal parts and was heavy. Today, it would be silly for you to walk around that bag of paper and plastic for the whole day while it stinks up your house.

Don’t worry if your bag gets full before you get to all the rooms at first. Every day you should make it further in the house until you don’t even fill the bag anymore.

14)       Get a laundry basket and go to each room gathering up dirty clothes. Again, don’t’ worry if you don’t get them all. Unless you have a very large and sloppy family, you will eventually get to each room. If you do have a large and sloppy family (after about three days you aren’t getting any farther into the house), do two baskets a day.

15)       Gather up all the dishes and set them on the counter by the sink.

16)       Fix and eat lunch.

17)       Wash all the dishes in and around the sink, dry and put them up.

18)       Rotate the laundry, folding and putting everything up. (Most families only go through about a load a day, so if you do two loads every day, you will eventually catch up. If your family does more, add a third rotation in the mid- morning or afternoon.)

19)       See if there is anything you can do for supper (cut veggies, marinate the meat, fix the salad, etc.)

20)       Now do one big project. Get;
o   a rag
o   spray cleaner
o   box
o   laundry basket
o   trash bag.

Go to one room (Sandra Felton of “The Messies Manuel” recommends you start at the front door. I usually begin at the start of my house circle. Others start in the Master bedroom. Pick which will work for you.)

Walk in the door, turn left and take everything out of the first thing you come to. If it has drawers or shelves, only empty the top one. If it is a closet or something else big divide it up into smaller parts. Never do one, great big space at a time. Divide and conquer!

Now, imagine what you really want in that space; undies? Tools? Papers? Etc. Wipe the drawer out and wash its front. From what you took out, separate out the things that actually now belong in that drawer. Pick out the best and only put them back in (you only need about 8 pairs of undies, so pick the nicest 8 and put them up. You really should only need one or two hammers. Pick the best and put them up.) The leftovers (the extra 34 undies, six hammers, etc.) put in the box to donate to charity (Honest. Someone out there is in dire need of underwear and can’t afford to buy it new.)

Whatever else came out of that drawer either throw away in the trash bag, put in the donate box, or put in the basket to put somewhere else.

When the drawer is completely, perfectly clean, go put everything in the basket up, but don’t let yourself be distracted by other cleanup projects. Just dump it on top. You’ll deal with that spot later.

Then go to the next drawer, shelf, cupboard, etc.

Big Clean can be followed right outside and include your yard and car, if you want.

21)       One hour before hubby is due home, put everything away (Set an alarm). If you were cleaning (as above) take the donate box to your car, tie up the trash bag and take it out, and put everything in the basket and your cleaning tools up. Then brush your hair, make sure your clothes are clean and start supper. Set the table. Rest.

22)       Before going to bed, check your calendar for appointments, decide what you are going to have for each meal the next day, pick out your clothes for tomorrow, lotion your feet and hands, etc. Go to bed ready for the next day.

To summarize:
·        Take care of yourself and prepare for the day.
·        Clean the kitchen.
·        Do your basic maintenance (trash, laundry, dishes)
·        Big Clean
·        Keep the Laundry humming.
·        Quit in time to get ready for the evening with your Hubby and family.

You will need to take breaks. If you have a baby, he will tell you when to take them. Every time he eats, whether he is breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, sit and hold him, drink a glass of water or a cup of tea, have a light snack (i.e. cheese stick, piece of fruit), read a chapter in a good book. Play with the baby.

If you do not have a baby, set your timer and take a break every hour or hour and a half. Rest for 15 minutes (set the time). This is important to keep from exhausting yourself. Remember, you took breaks at work and at school. Be sure to take longer for lunch; half an hour to an hour is good.

This is just a beginning schedule. Follow this and your house will get clean and stay clean in no time. After you have been doing this for a while, you will tweak this until it fits you and your home.

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