For the single women, God calls you to consider Him your husband, your Head. Singleness is a blessing and a ministry. It is a time to do "Good and not evil, all your days” to God.
Can He trust safely in you? Do you do what He tells you to, when He tells you to? Cheerfully? Do you live to show Him respect in every decision, every aspect of your life?
There is nothing wrong with being open to the idea of marriage if God calls you to it (as He does most of us), any more than to the idea of remaining single. Both married and single women have important jobs to do in this society and in God's kingdom.
So, if you are looking for a husband, then what kind of man are you looking for? I will give you a hint; He must be worthy of trusting in you. If you can look at him and honestly say, "I would gladly work to earn his trust and not feel like I was giving any more than he deserves," then you may have a keeper.
When looking for Mr. Right, don't settle for someone, who does not trust you, or one whom you do not trust. You need to make sure you know him well enough to truly know if you can trust him. This may take a few years or you may know it immediately. If you are striving to be a virtuous woman then you need a man striving to be the equal in manhood. If you pick less, you will be sorry.
Did you know our husbands are the only authority in our lives we get to pick? We can't pick our parents, and though we may vote, we don't directly pick our governing officials. But we can pick our husbands. We don't have to place ourselves under any man's authority we don't want to. What a privilege!
So, married women and singles, what does it mean for the husband to "trust his wife and not need spoil"?”
Well, spoil is what the men of war brought back from a victory. Strong's defines it as "prey."
The NIV uses the term, "Lacks nothing of value."
The NAS says "lack nothing of gain."
Do you help your household to be as financially secure as possible? Or do you waste money on things you don't really need? Do you demand a higher standard of living than he can comfortably provide?
I think this has to do with more than just money, though. Do you seek to make sure he lacks nothing of value intellectually, emotionally, and socially?
You should seek to improve your mind and make yourself as educated as possible, not just for your benefit but for your husband's also.
Now, I don't mean you should always be running down to the local college taking classes. That is actually an inefficient way to learn, though it is an efficient way to teach.
I mean read books, newspapers, magazines, and good web sites; Talk to intelligent people whenever you get the chance. Form ideas and opinions. Know what is going on. A man with an intellectually stimulating woman continually grows himself thus opening more doors of opportunity. A man with a mentally stagnant wife has a ball and chain to drag around with him, mentally. Do your hubby no harm- intellectually.
Emotionally, don't play mind games with hubby.
Have you ever wondered why males like to wrestle and engage in physical play and activities? You know, race each other to the field, catch and wrestle down a wild horse, shave its mane off to braid a rope, use the rope to tie up a crocodile, skin that to make hiking boots and wear those to climb a 1000 foot, vertical cliff. It is because they are strong enough to risk exposing their strength. They know they can't easily be hurt.
Ever wonder why women play stupid mind games (such as expecting our man to read our minds or asking them questions that have no possible good answer such as “Do I look fat today?”)? It is because we are strong enough- emotionally- to risk exposing our emotions. We can't easily be seriously emotionally hurt.
Men can be.
My hubby could physically tear me apart with his hands if he wanted to. But I could do far more damage to him with my mouth than he could possibly do to me with his hands. We women wear our emotions on our sleeves because we can afford to. Protect your husband emotionally. He needs you to do that for him.
Socially, you are the gate keeper to success for your man. Your attitude with him in private and with others will make the difference on whether or not he "makes it." If you are always belittling him and putting him down, even in jest, or if you baby him too much, he will not have the confidence to succeed. If you encourage him in private and promote and brag on him in public, he will go far. It is in your hands.
I have heard some women call their mates "pet" names that are really insults. This can only damage hubbies (or children or anyone else.) Think about it; do you call your best girl-friend "Butt head" when you answer her phone calls? Doesn't your hubby, your soul mate, deserve at least as much respect as your friends? Honestly look at how you talk to your friends and how you talk to your hubby. Many women will be surprised at how rude they are to their life-mates.
In order to find out what we can do to make our hubby trust in us let's read Titus 2 where Paul tells older women to teach younger women and what they should teach.
“The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”(Titus 2:3)
Can He trust safely in you? Do you do what He tells you to, when He tells you to? Cheerfully? Do you live to show Him respect in every decision, every aspect of your life?
There is nothing wrong with being open to the idea of marriage if God calls you to it (as He does most of us), any more than to the idea of remaining single. Both married and single women have important jobs to do in this society and in God's kingdom.
So, if you are looking for a husband, then what kind of man are you looking for? I will give you a hint; He must be worthy of trusting in you. If you can look at him and honestly say, "I would gladly work to earn his trust and not feel like I was giving any more than he deserves," then you may have a keeper.
When looking for Mr. Right, don't settle for someone, who does not trust you, or one whom you do not trust. You need to make sure you know him well enough to truly know if you can trust him. This may take a few years or you may know it immediately. If you are striving to be a virtuous woman then you need a man striving to be the equal in manhood. If you pick less, you will be sorry.
Did you know our husbands are the only authority in our lives we get to pick? We can't pick our parents, and though we may vote, we don't directly pick our governing officials. But we can pick our husbands. We don't have to place ourselves under any man's authority we don't want to. What a privilege!
So, married women and singles, what does it mean for the husband to "trust his wife and not need spoil"?”
Well, spoil is what the men of war brought back from a victory. Strong's defines it as "prey."
The NIV uses the term, "Lacks nothing of value."
The NAS says "lack nothing of gain."
Do you help your household to be as financially secure as possible? Or do you waste money on things you don't really need? Do you demand a higher standard of living than he can comfortably provide?
I think this has to do with more than just money, though. Do you seek to make sure he lacks nothing of value intellectually, emotionally, and socially?
You should seek to improve your mind and make yourself as educated as possible, not just for your benefit but for your husband's also.
Now, I don't mean you should always be running down to the local college taking classes. That is actually an inefficient way to learn, though it is an efficient way to teach.
I mean read books, newspapers, magazines, and good web sites; Talk to intelligent people whenever you get the chance. Form ideas and opinions. Know what is going on. A man with an intellectually stimulating woman continually grows himself thus opening more doors of opportunity. A man with a mentally stagnant wife has a ball and chain to drag around with him, mentally. Do your hubby no harm- intellectually.
Emotionally, don't play mind games with hubby.
Have you ever wondered why males like to wrestle and engage in physical play and activities? You know, race each other to the field, catch and wrestle down a wild horse, shave its mane off to braid a rope, use the rope to tie up a crocodile, skin that to make hiking boots and wear those to climb a 1000 foot, vertical cliff. It is because they are strong enough to risk exposing their strength. They know they can't easily be hurt.
Ever wonder why women play stupid mind games (such as expecting our man to read our minds or asking them questions that have no possible good answer such as “Do I look fat today?”)? It is because we are strong enough- emotionally- to risk exposing our emotions. We can't easily be seriously emotionally hurt.
Men can be.
My hubby could physically tear me apart with his hands if he wanted to. But I could do far more damage to him with my mouth than he could possibly do to me with his hands. We women wear our emotions on our sleeves because we can afford to. Protect your husband emotionally. He needs you to do that for him.
Socially, you are the gate keeper to success for your man. Your attitude with him in private and with others will make the difference on whether or not he "makes it." If you are always belittling him and putting him down, even in jest, or if you baby him too much, he will not have the confidence to succeed. If you encourage him in private and promote and brag on him in public, he will go far. It is in your hands.
I have heard some women call their mates "pet" names that are really insults. This can only damage hubbies (or children or anyone else.) Think about it; do you call your best girl-friend "Butt head" when you answer her phone calls? Doesn't your hubby, your soul mate, deserve at least as much respect as your friends? Honestly look at how you talk to your friends and how you talk to your hubby. Many women will be surprised at how rude they are to their life-mates.
In order to find out what we can do to make our hubby trust in us let's read Titus 2 where Paul tells older women to teach younger women and what they should teach.
“The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”(Titus 2:3)
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